Depresstion
by Shizu-chan-ForIzaOnly
Summary: izaya is depressed after killing his younger sister mairu. he attempts to take his life to feel better..will shizuo get to him intime? alright summary sucks this is a thanks for the 100 views on Shizuo Dies? and its going to a chapter..you have to read and review for izaya to eather die or live..this was based off of a rp i did with Takaratoast now enjoy :)
1. Chapter 1

"Izaya."

_"yes Shizu-chan" he asked as he looked at the blonde brute before him his hands shoved into his signature parka._

He looked away from Izaya, not really wanting to look the raven straight in the eyes. " 'The hell are you doing out of your rat nest in Shinjuku?"

_He shrugged and smirked as he hid some cut wounds that he had Shinra had patch up not to long ago. well it was more like im patching this up or Celtys going to slice you type of things. still Izaya had way to much pride to admit that he was causeing slef harm and especally not to Shizuo. "just checking in is all" he stated and watched the males reaction as he moved his arms and crossed them over his chest._

He caught sight of the wounds just as the raven covered them up. He raised an eyebrow at Izaya, "Checking up on who? Cause it seems like you're the one who needs a check up." He said matter-of-fact. "Who did that to you?" He asked, getting oddly irritated at seeing that someone /else/ had hurt Izaya..that he had a wound that he didn't know where it came from.

_Sighing he moved his hands and shoved them into his pockets untill his wounds were sucessfully covered. "no one..none of your buisness shizu-chan now im going home" he said in a stern tone and began to walk away from the male. he didnt feel like getting into an argument that he needs to take care of him self and shit like that. He had already gotten that speach from Shinra and Celty today and didnt need to hear it again._

He narrowed his eyes at Izaya and reached out to grab Izaya's shoulder. "Wait Izaya," he said a bit sternly and seriously. "It is my business because I'm making it my business, and someone /besides/ me hurt you. I'd say I have some right to know who could have pulled something like that so easily."

_He was about to answer the male with a witty come back but looked over the blondes shoulder and saw Celty headed their way. Eyes widening he knew that Shinra wasnt done with him. he escaped from the males grasp and ran. Celty following him and Izaya turned down an alley way as he watched Celty drive by._

His eyes widened a bit in surprise when he realized that Izaya was suddenly gone. "The hell" He asked him self as he took a moment that make sense of the ravens disappearance. He looked around and followed after where he thought Izaya had gone. After a few moments of brisk waking he found him, giving Izaya a suspicious look. "The hell are you running from Izaya?"

_Izaya was in a dark corner of an alley way and chuckled nervously. "who me..now why would i be running from any one" he asked and rubbed the back of his neck alright he isnt the best lier in the world put you had to give him props. Shziuos like a human lie detector for fucks sake. "Celty" he said as he then tried to leave before the dullahon found him again._

He raised an eyebrow at Izaya. There was something off about him...Something very off. From the way he held himself the way he spoke, it was odd, and honesty something about it... Just didn't sit right with the blonde. He stopped Izaya before he could leave where he was standing, "Izaya, what's up with you today. You aren't acting like yourself."

_He scoffded. "well shizu-chan considering im runing from a dullahon and have to probobly go back to Shinras to finish getting treated then i would say im having a perfectly normal day today." He sighed he didnt plan on going to Shinras in fact he planed on going home and repeating his actions as to why he was here in the first place. The metalic blood just seemed so adicting when he felt it run down his wrists he wanted that again. He shoved past shizuo and began to walk home once again._

He reached out to grab Izaya's hood and stopped him from walking far away. "Don't give me bullshit Izaya. Something is eating you rigt now. Tell me what it is." He pulled on Izaya's shoulder to turn him towards him, looking Izaya seriously in the eyes.

_He rolled his eyes at the blonde. 'realy now he starts to worry' He thought and just turned and ran. He ran all of the way home and panted as he walked into his apartment. But he didnt lock the door probobly because he had other plans at the moment, walking into the bathroom he closed the door and locked it before pulling out a sharp blade and taking a deep breath. he removed his favorite parka and set it aside. He ran the blade along his wrists as he closed his eyes and felt the blood begin to pour from his skin and he repeated the proces afew times before he moved to the other wrist and began to do the same._

He let out a little sigh as he watched the raven slip away, sprinting off, most likely heading home. What could be wrong with Izaya? He didn't know why he cared so much... but he did, and he couldnt help but let the thought of something being off with the flea eat him. Reluctantly, he set off in the direction of Izaya's house in a slow paced run. Within a few minutes, only shortly after Izaya arrived, Shizuo got to the house. He knocked on the door once, and after waiting for an answer that never came he tested the door nob. 'Unlocked?' he thought, finding that strange considering the part of town Izaya lived in, only a fool would leave their house unlocked. He stepped into the house and looked around, seeing no one inside he called out, "Izaya? Are you here?" He asked as he spotted the light to the bathroom on. He made his way towards the door and tested the door handle. Locked. "Izaya," he called, "Are you...okay?"

_The sound of Shizuos voice made Izaya freez. He droped the blade as he was in the middle of a cut and it hoit the floor with a loud bing. Taking a step back he stumbled over into his bathtub and hit his head on the back of it. his body was in the and his bleeding arms at his side. His legs still remained out of the tub and hung over the edges, his body began to get bloodie from his left hand moving to his stomach but his right staying were it was. Vission began to blur and he soon from the fall and amount of blood loss he passed out, black engofled him and his body went limp in the bathroom tub._

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**Alright ****REVIEW**** and vote weather he should live or die..ill updste it soon enough mostlikely when i get 10 ****REVIEWS! ****thanks for reading :)**


	2. Chapter 2

He didn't like the bang he heard through the door, And the dull this that followed it only seemed to worry him more. He called out the ravens name one more time, and when no answer came he let out a frustrated groan and forced the door open, no doubt breaking the door handle. His eyes widened at what he saw, Izaya losing consciousness in the bathtub soaking in his own blood. "Sh-SHIT!" He exclaimed in surprise, disbelief, and fear. He rushed to the man. Eyes wide, he picked Izaya up, not caring that his blood would most probably now stain his clothing, and rushed him out the door taking him back to Shinra's where the doctor would patch him up, Shizuo sitting beside the raven the entire time, hopeful that the visit would save the ravens life.

_Izaya woke up a few hours later a bag of blood connected to his arm. He moved one of his bandaged arms up and clutched his head with a light groan, damn his head hurt. He wasnt wearing a shirt considering his was all bloodied, he opened his eyes and looked around. 'why am i not dead..am i at Shinra's' he thought and groaned as he went to sit up._

He watched as Izaya woke up, he had stayed in the room with Izaya, not wanting to leave without being sure that the man was okay, the movement caused a little sigh of relief to escape his mouth. "Head ache?" He asked when he heard the man groan with his hand on that head. "Yeah that generally happens when someone's lost as much blood as you..." He shook his head, "I'm not even going to lecture you about taking care of yourself or how people would miss you if your gone or any shit like that, because honestly I know that isn't what you want to hear, and it wouldn't matter what I said. All I want to know... is why."

_Izaya looked at the bed sheets as he was now sitting up. "you should have let me die." He stated and looked at Shizuo for a moment before pulling the iv out with a wince. He got off of the bed and walked over to his shoes, slipping them on he walked out of the apartment and through the city. He was depressed so he couldn't take this constant game of cat and mouse any more. He wanted to die he wanted it so bad. "stupid brute." He muttered as he looked down at the ground and walked shirtless through Ikebukuro._

He let out an irritated growl when Izaya simply got up and left, why he didn't stop him before he left the room, he had no idea, but now it seemed like he'd have to search for the man through the city again, though, he had an idea of where to find him. He wasn't sure if Izaya knew it himself, but when the man was simply wandering through Ikebukuro, there was one specific route he'd almost always take, so, that was the one Shizuo followed to find the flea. It didn't take long for him to catch up, breathing quickened from the run he caught up to Izaya and grabbed onto his arm, careful not to grab a wounded area. "Idiot, quit running away Izaya, just talk to me."

_Izaya struggled in the males grasp. "let me go Shizu-chan" he muttered as he moved his other hand up and placed it on the males as he tried to pry it from his arm._

"No...No damn it I'm not letting you go. Not till you tell me why...till...till you let me do something for you for once even if it's just listening, because damn it I'm so sick of this little game we play with each other, just going through the motions of hating each other every day...Im just sick of it." His grip on Izaya tightened a bit, enough to be uncomfortable, but not enough to hurt. "You can't tell me that you aren't getting tired of it either, even if only just a little bit...So please...just talk to me."

_Izaya whimpered as he felt the males grip on his arm tighten. "im depressed Shizuo why didn't you let me die..i deserve to die..and yes i am sick of it. now let me go so i can go finish what i started" he exclaimed as he continued to struggle in the males grip._

He let out a little chuckle. "You think I'm going to let you go after telling me something like that?" He pulled Izaya around so that he was facing him. "God damn it Izaya I didn't let you die because I don't want you to die, and neither do your friends or customers or whatever. And I'm not going to let you die, because despite popular belief, I /do/ care. I care a lot... and I... I don't know what I'd do if you died. You have so much to live for still, you aren't even twenty-five yet and honestly...you don't know what the future holds. You could miss out on so much good that follows whatever bad is going on for you." He shook his head, "Dying isn't the only way to get rid of your pain you know."

_He sighed and dropped his hand as he looked down at the ground. "i know..i know" He said softly. "but i don't have anything to live for any more Shizu-chan..i killed someone close to me all because they were at the wrong place at the wrong time.." He began to contemplate whether it was an accident or not. "i didn't mean to..i mean she moved in front of my blade..i-it was my fault though" he sighed and it began to rain._

"If it was an accident... than it wasn't your fault... I know what its like to hurt someone important to you." He let out a pitiful chuckle and shook his head, "I've done it more times than I can count, and it seems to just suck more each time. I've hurt the only people who care about me countless times, and some of them have avoided me, hated me, and feared me since, and honestly... I almost think that'd be worse than killing them, because at least now... whoever you hurt, they can't hate you, they can't make you feel any worse than you already do." He shook his head. "You probably don't want to hear that though... Look, if you don't have anything to live for right now... then find something find something that you can live for, or someone... because I won't let you just die."

_"my mom hates me, my dad says im a disgrace and..my sister wants me dead saying i deserve what ever comes my way." He couldn't belive he was actually telling this to the blonde brute in front of him. Once the rain got his arm wet enough he managed to slip it from his grasp. "don't follow me Shizu-chan." He said as he took off and ran down the street. he disappeared in a nearby ally way and disappeared from the males sight._

He watched as the man slipped out of his breath, cursing himself for letting him go. Again he watched as the man disappeared, wishing he could do something, anything to help the man. "Just...just don't do anything that...that you won't get a chance to regret," he mumbled, hoping that this wouldn't be their last meeting.

_Izaya ran down the ally untill he ran into one of the yellow scarves members. Literally ran into him, the taller male turned and Izaya was now on his but looking up at the male. A few more people from the gang showed up and they all smirked. "Izaya Orihara just the man we were looking for." The male said as he motioned for some guys to bind him. Once done a gag was put in Izayas mouth and he narrowed his eyes at the yellow scarves members. he struggled at his binds and got a crowbar to his head. As if his head didn't hurt enough, he didn't dare wince but kept his composure as he was beaten by the yellow scarves gang members. 'bastards you dare challenge a god like me' he thought that was untill one of the male tossed a photo of Izaya dead sister Mairu in front him and said "heard you ended that brat for good..i never thought that /you/ would do such an act to your own family." He was laying on the ground bloody he looked at the photo and let a tear fall. This was it this was how he was going to die. This was how it was going to end, right here and right now._

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**Thanks for the reviews and thanks for reading..going to leave you guys hanging..im probobly going to update this every day to every other day..please REVIEW! **


	3. Chapter 3

He's intended to respect Izaya's wishes, intended to let him go and only pray that the man lived long enough to see him again, by the sounds of an unfair street fight always seemed to draw him to them. At first he didn't even realize the victim was Izaya, in fact it wasn't till the second man was on his floor clutching his probably bleeding stomach that he looked over to see the raven on the ground. "God damn it." There was no way that these losers took Izaya down, the man has let them beat him, not even putting up a fight. That wasn't like Izaya.

_The picture of Izayas sister remianed by his head. Izaya had regret, remorse and sorrow in his eyes as he laid there. He wasnt about to go to Shinras for a third time that day considering that the male would probobly just tie him to the bed and then put him in a giant bubble thing for 'safety'. He mentally cursed when he saw Shizuo and was still bound and gaged. strugling at his binds he groaned in frustration._

"Gid damn it Izaya. I can't let you out of my sight." He knelt down beside Izaya to let him free of his binds, and as he untied his gag, mentally crated a scenario in which Shizuo hadn't come for him, and the scenes that played. We're terrifying to the blonde. He felt weak all the sudden, an angel let his head drop, for some reason letting it fall and rest on Izaya's shoulder. "Fuck...Stop this Izaya...When idiots give you trouble show them what you can do...Don't talk about dying like this...Please Izaya I'm begging you to live right now...You...you just can't die yet okay?"

_Izaya coughed as the gag was removed. To be honest if Shizuo hadn't shown when he did then he would of been dead. "it was my sister Shizu-chan..my defensless sister died because of me..you dont know what that feels like to watch your own blood die at your hands..to listen to her pleading for me to spare her..its the worst feeling in the world." he looked at the photo once more before moving a hand up and wiping his eyes. he wasnt in to bad of shape cuts and bruises mabe a few broken bones but nothing much. They seemed to be bluffing about killing him more than anything witch really didnt suprise the raven inforant for the people they were he was only suprised that Shizuo actually helped him._

He let out a little sigh, he couldn't imagine what it would feel like to hurt, much less kill, Kasuka. He didn't know what the raven was going through, but he wanted to help. In any way he could, he did not want Izaya to die. "I can tell you don't want to go back to Shinra's...Come back to my place to night, I can't treat you like he can...But I at least know how I treat a fracture...Do you need any help walking?"

_He raised an eyebrow was Shziuo offering for him to go to his house. He went to get up and shook his head but he fell to the ground and winced. "ow.." He said as he then got up and leaned against the wall for saport as he looked over at Shizuo before limping along the wall and looked at the male as he stood against the wall and waited for the male to come with._

__Shizuo walked over to the male and wrapped an arm around him to help him walk seeing as the raven had a broken leg. "come on flea" He said and they walked back to his house. Once there the male took out his keys with his free hand and opened the door. Leading Izaya over to the couch the male set him down and went to go and get the suplies needed to fix him up.

_Izaya sat down and looked at the blonde as he left the room. "Why are you helping me Shizu-chan" Izaya asked as he looked around the males house and saw pictures of his little brother Kasuka and mother and father. He had never met the people but asumed they were nice from their reputation and what he heard about them._

Shizuo returned and had gause, poroxide, medical tape and casting suplies. He walked over and set the items down on the table as he looked at the injured male. "Because flea im the only one who is allowed to kill you and i-i worry about you louse" He said as he sat down and watched the males reaction.

_Izaya sighed a she looked down at the ground with a frown on his usually smug face. "Shziu-chan you are such a protozoin" He mumbled as he winced and Shizuo pressed a cotten swob with alcohol onto his head wound. "a warning would of been nice" Izaya seethed and looked up at the bleached blonde brute._

Shizuo scoffed "deal with it flea" he said and continued to clean the males wound. Once done he placed gause and tape on the males open wound. Moving to the males arm he continued to clean his wounds around his body. Patching up everyone of his wounds he looked at izaya and sighed as he wrappped up his broken bones. His right arm and his left leg. He covered the male with a blaanket and laid him down. "get some rest Izaya" He whispered and turned out the light. Getting up he walked over to the door to leave the room. Once there he looked back and watched with a soft exprestion as Izaya fell aslepp. He walked into his room and laid down on the bed before going to sleep himself.

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**thank you for reading i had to take this into my own hands so thats why shizuo might seem as though he has a change of character..review and tell me what you think thanks :)**


	4. Chapter 4

_Izaya woke the next morning and looked over at Shizuo who was sitting on the other end of the couch. "hm" He sounded as he sat up and rubbed his eyes with the back of his good hand. _

Shizuo looked over at the now awake male and sighed, "morning flea" He said and watched as Izaya sat up. he held out two pills for the male to take and a glass of water. "don't worry its just pain killers, I wouldnt dope you up in my own home" Shizuo said and watched as Izaya took the pills in hand.

_Izaya took the pills from Shizuo and examined them carefully. "um..thanks Shizu-chan" He said and swallowed the pills with ease. Taking the water he took a sip before setting it down on the table. He looked to the tv and saw Shizuo had his brothers new show on. He leaned back and watched the tv with the male. "he's really been busy lately huh" He asked, his gaze never averting from the tv as he did. _

Shizuo looked back over at the tv and nodded. "yeah his manager said he has an audition in Shinjuku next week," He said and got up to walk over to the bathroom.

_Izaya watched Shizuo leave. "can we watch a movie Shziu-chan" He asked as he was already looking through the males movies and put in the grudge 1. He limped over and sat down on the couch as he awaited an answer from Shizuo. _

He looked over at Izaya and sighed "i guess" He said and put the meds he brought out for the male back in the cupboard. He walked over to Izaya and chuckled when he saw he had put in the grudge. "Have you ever seen this movie" He asked and sat down next to Izaya.

_Izaya shook his head "no but i guess its supposed to be really good" He said having never seen the movie he wanted to watch it so bad but never had the chance to considering he worked from morning to night almost every night._

Shizuo chuckled and turned out the light before hitting play. "don't get to scared now" He said in a mocking tone and leaned back against the couch as the movie began.

_Izaya watched the movie and jumped as the grudge came on. towards the middle of the movie he had moved over and cuddled up to the blonde brute next to him. His face being buried in his chest and he had his eyes closed tight when ever he heard the grudge and a jump scare came on. _

Shizuo moved a hand up and ran it through the males raven hair gently as a way to tell him it was going to be okay. They had spent all day watching the movies and once the movie finished Shizuo looked down at Izaya who had fallen asleep on his chest. He smiled softly and gently moved the male so he was laying on the couch and not his chest. he covered them up with a blanket and ran his hand along the males face. He didn't have the urge to kill him like he normally would and instead wanted to hold him and never let go of the male at hand "good night Izaya" He said in a whisper and kissed the top of the males head gently and walked back to his room so he could fall asleep.

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**Sorry it wasnt verry long just thought they had to have a cute moment with everythings that happened so far to izaya and such..Thanks for reading this guys i'm going to update frequently but it might not be as fast as usuall..the shizuo i was rping with for this stopped replying so im both shizuo and izaya now and have school..so i'm so sorry if i dont update as fast as you would like but i will get it done and up within a few days..****please REVIEW and tell me what you think so far..****thanks for reading and have a good day guys..**

**till next time bye :)**


	5. Chapter 5

**-a bit later when Izayas healed-**

_Izaya woke up and looked around. Sighing he walked over to the males room and smiled softly at the sight of the blonde sleeping soundly in his bed. He walked over and set a note on the night stand before gently kissing the males forehead. "thank you Shizuo." He said in a whisper before turning to leave but found himself being pulled down and laying on the bed next to Shizuo. Izaya blinked before looking up at a blonde that was 'sleeping' and had his hand wrapped around the ravens wrist. _

Shizuo was awake and heard the male enter so he decided to pretend to sleep. It was only when he felt Izayas soft lips press to his forehead that he decided to do something about the raven haired male leaving. Opening his eyes he looked down at confused crimson ones looking back up at him. "you honestly didn't think i was letting you slip from my grasp that easy did you" He asked and gripped Izayas other wrist before pinning them both to the bed and laying him flat on his back before straddling the males waist.

_Izaya blushed lightly as he looked up at the bleached blonde. "tsk..no but thats why i wrote the note stupid bru-mmph" He was cut off by the male pressing his lush lips against his own. Once they parted Izaya looked at the blonde in shock. "Sh-Shziu-chan" he said and kissed him once more this time Izaya complied and found himself kissing back. _

Shizuo had originally kissed him to shut the male up, but when Izaya started to kiss back he closed his eyes softly and continued to have his hands pinned above his head. He let his body take over for the want for the male below him was stronger than anything he had ever felt before. He moaned in the kiss and asked for entrance to the males wet cavern. But when Izaya refused he began to roughly grind his hips against the smaller males and moaned at the sweet friction being created.

_He gasped when he felt the male grind against him, he didn't want this. No him and Shizuo just started getting along. He felt the males tongue enter his mouth and begin to play around with it. Izaya began to get aroused by the males bluntness. After a few more minutes of intense kissing their lips parted and both males were panting and forcing air down their lungs. _

Shizuo didn't give Izaya a chance to get his mind straight and gripped both of the males wrists with his hand the other traveling down the males chest and unbuttoning the white button up he had borrowed. Once he reached the males boxers which were the only thing he had on besides the shirt, he began to trace the male's growing erection.

_Izaya moaned and bucked his hips up into the males hand wanting more of the male than simple touches. "mm-Shizu-chan" he breathed out and then gathered his senses and shook his head. No he doesn't want this, it's wrong in so many ways. "N-no s-stop let me up." He said and looked up at the male as he felt him remove his hand from his erection. As much as his mouth said no his body said yes and more. _

Shizuo kissed along the males neck earning a gratified moan, "Izaya as much as you say no your body says yes" he said and removed the ravens boxers with ease. He looked down into the males crimson irises with a lust full gaze.

_Izaya saw how much the male wanted him and was squirming under him to try and get away that is untill his cock was roughly grabbed and caused Izaya to freeze and looked at the male with a slightly worried expression. "ngh..ahh-Shizuo" He moaned as the male began to pump his member and he arched into the blonde. His heart racing he currled his toes and blushed deeper. _

He pumped the raven faster and harder. The white shirt the male was wearing falling perfectly on the ravens sides revieling the males chest perfectly. He releaed the males hands and rubbed his thumb over the raven nipples.

_Once his arms were free he wrapped them around the males neck and pulled him down into a kiss as a way to silence himself. He moved one of his hands down and stopped the males movements. Panting harshly he looked up at the male with a lust full gaze. _

"see you want just as much as i do" he said and removed his hand from the males erection. He gripped the bottom of his own shirt and removed it. tossing it aside he fully removed Izayas shirt leaving him naked on the bed. He moved his hands down and removed his pants and boxers to revel his own arousal. He rested in between the males legs and pressed his lips to Izaya who set his hand on the males chest.

_" ..i uh..i'm a vergin..but i want to..soo much" He admitted and blushed deeper as he turned his head away from the male in embarrassment of his sudden confession. _

"okay as long as you're sure..it's going to hurt at first but i'll try to get that part over with quickly" He said and positioned himself at the males entrance. He wrapped the ravens legs around his waist and slowly slid into the male seething at the tightness that was given off. "d-damn flea so tight" He managed out and kissed along his neck as he was now fully in and giving the male time to adjust.

_Izaya placed his hands on the bed next to him and roughly gripped at the sheets as he groaned in pain at the intrusion. he bit his bottom lip and gave the male a shirt nod as a way to tell him he was ready. _

Shizuo began to move and changed angles trying to find the males sweet spot to get him over the pain as fast as possible.

_He dug his nails in the sheets and closed his eyes tightly, "h-hurts..Sh-Shizu-chan it hurts" He told the male and turned his head to the side as a way to hide his pained expression when he felt something amazing and began to moan. "ahh-ngh~ Th-there, oh god Shizuo" he moaned and began to move his hips with the males thrusts. _

He thrust into that same spot over and over again. His speed intensifying along with his force untill he was butchering the males prostate and he was moaning beneath him. Shizuo felt his own sort of pleasure and felt himself near his climax.

_Izaya felt something wierd in his stomach. "it feels so good..god don't stop" He said and kissed the male. The kiss was heated, passionate and rough all at the same time and Izaya never wanted it to end. "i-im g-gonna c-cum" he warned and came all over his stomach and Shizuos chest. _

Shizuo felt the male tighten around him and and was overwhelmed. He came inside of the males entrance and stopped his movements as they stayed like that for a few minutes to catch his breath. Blood and cum dripped from Izayas hole and Shizuo pulled out, before laying next to him.

_Izaya laid on his side and was pulled closer by Shizuo. He wrapped his arms around the male and closed his eyes as sleep began to threaten to take him over. _

"this makes you mine flea..you will always be MY Izaya from now on" he said and looked at the males light blush.

_"i-i wouldn't have it any other way..protozoin" He said and fell asleep in the males warm, protective grasp. _

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**thank you so much for reading guys it means a lot to me..im going to end it here thank you for all of the reviews and please tell me an idea for my next one..keep reviewing and tell me what you thought of it..all of the reviews and views mean so much to me i cant even put it in words..ill talk to you all soon..stay awsome guys and -brofist- (if you dont know what that is..drop what your doing and go watch ****_Pewdiepie _****on ****_YouTube _****NOW) XD **


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